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틀린 문법 찾아주세요.
linimm 답변 1  |  조회 11354
미해결 질문입니다. (09-12-21 10:25 작성)
Title : Computer's advantages

I think computers have made our lives better. First of all, a computer is not a just machine, but a media that connects person to person. For example, I have many friends who have something in common in my blog. We enjoy chatting, and we share many things like music or movie. Furthermore, I can talk with some foreigners via internet, and it is good way to know about other cultures. Second, computer games make our lives more fun. It could have a bad influence to children, but it is good way to get rid of stress for adults. According to a research, simple computer games help patients who suffer from aftereffect of accidents. Computer games can be useful to our mental health. Finally, computer is very comfortable when we want to do shopping. We can do shopping whenever and wherever through computers. We don't need to walk physically, but we can compare the prices on internet. In case of electronic machines, buying by internet is cheaper than buying in department stores. As well as, we can receive the goods by delivery service. Some people worry that people depend on computers too much, but for all these reasons, I think computers enrich our lives.


사전보며 쓴 건데, 틀린 부분들(콤마 포함) 섬세하게 고쳐주시면 감사하겠습니다 ^_^
re: 틀린 문법 찾아주세요.
dayhawk (10-04-03 02:28 작성)
...not just a machine, but a medium that connects.... [...] via the Internet, and it is a good way to.... [...] ...but it is agood way... [...] ...suffer from the aftermath of accidents. ...computers are very (useful for).... We don't need to walk to the stores, and .... [...] ...buying on the Internet.... Also, we can receive the goods through delivery services.

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